


That Boy

by crankyjones



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, I'm French sorry, M/M, No Smut, evak will rule the world, my tags are useless, quite sad, they're older, they're! so! cute!, we just want them to kiss already
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-28
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2019-02-23 01:41:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 10,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13179681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crankyjones/pseuds/crankyjones
Summary: “You aren’t alone.”Even Bech Næsheim x Isak Valtersen





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is the first fanfic' I post on here, yay!  
> Please excuse my English, it's not my native language (I'm French).  
> This story is posted on my Wattpad account in French (@crankyjones).  
> I hope you'll enjoy!  
> xx
> 
> PS: The chapters will never be very long, I hope you don't mind.  
> PPS: I'm so sorry chapters are taking so long! I don't have the time to translate my chapters and I'm currently rewriting the story. I hope I'm gonna be able to post again as soon as possible. Sorry again.

A tall blonde boy was walking. He did not seem to pay attention to anything; he was staring at the pavement, his hands dug in the pockets of his big coat that kept him warm during this freezing month of January. People from around here started to know him. Every day, he would walk there, near the park. Goings and returns, all day long. He would go to his university and then to the coffee-shop where he was working at. Even his name started to be known, brought up from nowhere; it was Even, Even Bech Næsheim.

Even Bech Næsheim did not have anything specific, though. At least, that was what he was thinking. Only his skin that was one of the palest ever and his hypnotizing blue eyes could describe him. Yet, as soon as we would see — even far away — this tuft of blonde hair, we would know it was Even. But that was before he arrived. Him. This blonde-haired boy surrounded by sadness. Why was he so sad? No one knew. Neither did Even who had noticed him too. Who was he? His name was also unknown. But he was there, and everyone noticed this.

Now, Even did not stare at the pavement anymore. Now, he did pay attention to what was around him. Now, he was staring at that boy. That boy with blonde hair. That boy with a sad face. That boy without a name. That boy Even was dying to meet.


	2. One - He saw someone.

“Even? Hey, come back to Earth!”

The blonde-haired boy flinched when he heard the voice of his friend Mikael.

“You’re zoning out a lot today… What’s happening up there?”  
“Nothing that amazing, I’m just a little tired.”  
“Yeah, of course, you are.”  
“I swear that’s it!”  
“Even, you know I’m here if you’ve got a problem, right?”  
“Yes, Mikael, I know it.”

The tallest of the two boys looked at the time on his phone and suddenly stood up of the low wall where Mikael and he were sitting when he saw it was already nine past six. He excused himself to his best friend very quickly and took his backpack before running out of the campus. He had to hurry; he had to go work at a coffee-shop which was at the other side of the town.  
Even was still running when he reached the park. It was an average park where no one ever went. But, right now, he saw someone. Even slowed down a little, intrigued. What was doing this person, all alone, sitting on a bench that did not see a bum for ages? The tall boy ended up stopping walking. His eyes were watching this person who turned out to be a man, a little younger than him. His blonde hair was flattened since he was wearing a cap backward and he had his head down so that he was staring at them too long grass. He seemed not too short but not too tall either, though Even’s opinion was not so objective since the boy was bent. He looked sad. Even just wanted to run and hold him in his arms to make the sadness that was surrounding him go away. Even just wanted to find out why he was so sad. Even just wanted to talk to him, to get to know him and to become his friend. Even did not know why, but he felt like that young boy needed some company. Even did not know why, but he felt like he was the one who had to satisfy this need by talking to him.

Even’s phone rang, making him slightly jump. How long had he been here, staring at that boy? The blonde guy picked up rapidly when he saw the name of his boss. A low yet loud voice started to talk at the other end. Even was not saying anything, letting the other man yelling at him. Then he apologized, lying to his boss and saying he had had a problem with one of his homework. He promised that would never happen again.  
When his finger pressed the red button to hang up, he sighed before taking one last look at the boy of the park. He looked fascinating. Even slightly bite his lip and he started again to run in the direction of the coffee-shop.

It looks like that boy is going to stay on his mind for a long time.


	3. Two - He was not an average boy.

When Even woke up this morning, the first thing that touched his mind was that boy. Even dreamed about him. It was a nice dream where he got to know the young man. There, he was not sad anymore, all thanks to Even. They were laughing together, they were chatting, they were living. But it was impossible for the tall blonde-haired to remember that mysterious boy’s name. Had he even told him? He only remembered the major points, he could only see that boy with a huge smile on his lips. Why was he so much on his mind? What made him so special? He was just an average boy. He was just a stranger who decided overnight to land in this abandoned park and to sit on this bench covered with moss.  
No; he was not an average boy. No; that one was sad. That one was shattered by something Even was intent to find out. He did not know why he wanted it, neither how he was going to achieve it, but he wanted to make that boy smile again.

That day Even did not work at the coffee-shop. Yet, when he got out of his university, he went to the park. His feet guided him there. Even’s apartment was not in this direction, though. But, deep within, he wanted to see him again. He was hoping he would still be sat down there and their eyes would meet, making them get acquainted. He was hoping to see that blonde young man again. He was hoping to know his first name, today. Or at least to see his full face, not only a tear running down his pale cheek.

So then, when Even stopped in front of the gate that separated the park from the pavement and when he saw that young stranger, a little smile appeared on his lips. He was still sat down on that mossed bench, bent, his head down. He was still wearing that cap backwards that flattened his tuft of blonde hair. Even could still not see his face properly, but he knew it was the young boy. He knew it because he still looked sad. He knew it because it felt like he had not moved since yesterday.  
Secretly, Even was wishing the mysterious blonde-haired would feel his eyes staring at him and he would raise his head towards him. He did not know what he would do if that happened, he was just wishing that happened.  
Even was also hoping to have enough courage to run towards the stranger and to hold him tight. He probably would think he was crazy, but his sadness would have been taken away by the tall blonde man, and that would have been the most important thing.

But none of this happened.  
Even waited, though. But nothing happened.  
So then, he turned around and went home, with the picture of that blonde-haired stranger ingrained on his retina.

It looks like that boy is going to stay on his mind for a long time.


	4. Three - He had not noticed that look fixed on him.

Even opened the gate of his university in a rush before hiding behind a wall. Sonja was looking for him everywhere but he really did not want to talk to her. She was going to yell at him, again, saying he would not make it out without her. He just wanted to spit in her face it had already been a month since they broke up and his life was doing great. He just wanted to respond to her digs, but he was not able to. She helped him when he was going through the worst moments of his life and, even though they weren’t together anymore, Even was still grateful to her.

The student did not hear his ex-girlfriend’s voice calling out for him after a few minutes of waiting there, so he went out of his hideout and started to walk towards the coffee-shop where he was working at. He could not be late again.  
After a time of walking, the blonde-haired boy reached the park. He could already see the silhouette of the boy who was haunting his thoughts for a couple days. He took a few steps and arrived next to the white gait that delimited the park and, without even noticing, he stopped in the middle of the pavement.  
Suddenly, someone bumped into his back. Could not people just be careful when they are walking on the street!? He turned around abruptly to find in front of him a fake-blonde-haired girl, who was no one but Sonja, his ex.

“I finally found you!” She started to get angry. “We need to talk!”  
“It’s been a month, Sonja. Can’t this story be over already?” Even sighed, exasperated.  
“No, Even, no!” Sonja was shouting, which called out some passers-by who lost interest in the scene very quickly. “You dumped me after a five-year relationship!”  
“Well, you know what? I should’ve done it before.”

After those words, Sonja slapped the blonde guy before turning around and disappearing.  
Even did not move, though. He was trying to digest this slap that seemed to echo in his head. He had not noticed that look fixed on him. The look of a boy, of that boy. His eyes followed Even while he was getting away from the park, angry and annoyed.

Who was that man? Why did he and that woman yell at each other? Why did they do that in front of that special park where no one ever went and was always so quiet? He was still staring at the tuft of blonde hair that was getting smaller and smaller until it was out of the sad boy’s eyes.  
He wished he noticed him. He would have loved to comfort him, saying everyone had already been mad at someone. He would have loved to talk with him about his problems, to forget about his own. He would have loved all that, but it did not happen. And now, he was gone, and would probably not come back, ever again.  
The blonde signed quietly before returning to that position, the same as usual. At least, thanks to that boy, he was not thinking about that anymore.  
It was probably worse, actually. He would never see him again, but he would still think about some scenarios including that young man that would never happen and it would do to him more bad than good. But what could he do about it, after all? The only way to stop thinking is to die. And he would rather have the picture of the stranger stuck in his brain all day long than stop living right now. No, he still had time.

It looks like that boy is going to stay on his mind for a long time.


	5. Four - He saw him, too.

He did not even try to talk to him, yesterday. He did not even slightly look at him before he left. Not even a quick look! Nothing. Nothing at all. Sonja made him really mad, though. Yes, they broke up, so what? It was useless to make a big deal out of it. Love is fleeting. He thought he would love the blonde-haired girl until he died, but he was wrong. He did not want her to suffer if he happened to love someone else. Love is an endless circle. A vicious circle where everyone ended up suffering. Then, she could not blame him for what he did; for avoiding an even bigger pain than the one she had felt.

When he woke up this morning, Even did not want to get up. If he got up, he would go to class. If he went to class, he was obviously going to see his ex. If he saw his ex, he would be in a bad mood. If he was in a bad mood, it would affect his friend Mikael. If it affected his friend Mikael, he would be mad at him. If he was mad at him, Even would be in an even worse mood. If Even was in an even worse mood, he would ignore again the sad boy from the park. And he did not want to ignore him one more time. The day before was enough.

Sometimes, the student liked staying there, laid on his bed, thinking about the world and the people he knew. Those thoughts would often go from one subject to another without him realizing it. It was amazing, how his brain could work without Even making the slightest effort to do so. And he had to admit he had not the easiest mind to understand. He was not really the kind of person to think about that pretty girl he ran into in the cafeteria. He was more likely the kind of person to think about how such and such action his close or he had done disrupted his whole life. To give an example, there was the time he met Sonja. Even though Even did not really appreciate to use her as an example right now, she was the most evident proof the butterfly effect was indeed real. She was just an average fifteen-year-old girl who was in his class. Yet the first time they talked, even though nor Even nor Sonja knew it back then, influenced everything that happened in the last five years and would probably influence the ten next years.  
Yes, he was sometimes thinking about that.  
And that is why Even told himself that, if he talked to that blonde stranger, it would perhaps create a lot of actions and occurrences that he would always remember. Maybe this was already the case. They saw each other or, at least, Even saw him and this was enough to totally disrupt what was happening in his today-life. Now, he would wake up with an aim; it was not going to school, it was not working at the coffee-shop — it was even more than that. Now, he would wake up with the aim to see him, to talk to him, to get to know him, to… to make him less sad, maybe, if he managed to do so.  
How pathetic he was… Why could not he just think about that pretty girl he ran into in the cafeteria, instead of thinking about that stranger who would never accept to talk to him?

Yet, that day, Even saw him. He had walked toward that park, and he saw him. Still the same way to sit. Still the same jacket. Still the same cap. Still the same sadness.  
But something had changed. He saw him, too.  
Their eyes had met. During long seconds that yet seemed three milliseconds to Even, their eyes had met. And Even knew this action, that looked very insignificant at the moment, was going to occasion loads of things in the future — and he would finally be able to use another example than Sonja to talk about the butterfly effect.

It looks like that boy is going to stay on his mind for a long time.


	6. Five - He brushed past him.

Even woke up with a start, that night. He did not really know why — everything was pretty confused in his mid-asleep brain — but the first thing that came to his mind was the blonde guy; he wanted to go see him, today, before going to the coffee-shop.

Today, the student decided to not go to class. Anyway, he would just skip one hour of biology — it was a subject where he was part of the best so it would be easy to catch up. Actually, he did not feel like going to college, at all. He had not seen Sonja since the other time, though, and she did not even have class on Saturdays. There were days like this one where he just wanted to stay home, without being surrounded by people he hated — the only one he liked was Mikael. No university, no company, just him, his house, his thoughts. And his cat Illyes. He was ginger and had a few whites stripes, and his eyes were coloured of a beautiful light green.  
The problem when he was doing that was the boredom. Not doing anything of his day was not Even’s cup of tea. So, usually, he would clean his whole house so that it looked brand new. Or he would cook a garnished meal and invite his parents to have dinner. It depended on his mood. But, today, he did not have faith nor to clean nor to cook. He did not want to do such a thing, today. He just wanted to see the boy.

At the end of the morning, when his stomach started to feel empty, Even went out of his house. There was a fast-food not far from home and he did not feel like cooking something. He just did not want to do anything, in the end, except seeing the blonde-haired stranger.  
He felt enormous in his way too big grey tracksuit and his sweat-shirt of the same colour. He could have changed his clothes before going out but, honestly, it was just some fast-food; who even wore presentable clothes to go there?

While Even was just a few thirty feet away from his destination, he saw him. Him. The little blondie from the park. The young man doubled over on the mossy bench. The stranger with the sad face. It was the first time he saw him somewhere else than the abandoned park. He was on his phone, talking with someone. On his head, still the same cap. But on his face, no more traces of sadness. Who was that person to whom he was talking to so that he looked that happy? The student was glad the stranger was feeling better, but he wanted to know who was the one who gave him his smile back. Had he a girlfriend, a boyfriend, a new dog? Whoever that person was, Even was grateful. He wished he was that person, though. But he guessed he missed too many chances to talk to the blonde; someone else did in his place.  
Yet, while it had been almost ten minutes where nor the stranger on his phone nor the tall blonde dressed of a tracksuit did not move an inch, one smiling and playing with his feet, the other staring at him, Sadness reappeared. Suddenly. Even was not understanding. The short blonde’s smile just vanished, abruptly. What was happening? The student wanted to run to ask him, but he did not want to make things worse by trying to console him. Even saw him putting his phone in his pocket with fervour and leaving the place running. He brushed past him, not even noticing him.

Even turned around to let his eyes follow the sad boy until he could not see him anymore. He missed once again his chance to know, to understand, to help. He was hoping the blonde and him would meet again that evening, in front of the park. They had to talk, today. Even was seeing clearly there was no more time to lose to help that boy. And he had decided he would be the one to do it.

The student stayed there for a few more minutes, until his stomach called out for food, bringing his mind back to Earth. He sighed before continuing his walk toward the fast-food so that he could finally eat, even though his heart was not in it anymore.

It looks like that boy is going to stay in his mind for a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Just wanted to say that, for the moment, I will try to post one chapter per day, but school starts again soon so I will be less regular since I will have tons of homework. Hope you understand. Thank you for reading my story, it means a lot! I hope there aren't too many grammar mistakes xx


	7. Six - He turned his head toward him.

Even had eaten slowly, way too slowly. So much slowly that, when he finally went out of the fast-food, the clock was already announcing it was more than two in the afternoon. He had not even seen the time fly, he was too deep in his thoughts. He was invading his mind non-stop, twenty-four hours a day. Even was trying, all the time, to get him out of his head since the day he saw him for the first time, which actually was last Tuesday being four days ago. Yet, despite all the efforts he provided, he could not manage to forget him. He did not know how, nor why this stranger was constantly occupying his thoughts but, apparently, he was decided to not leave them that soon, as if he was ingrained in there.

Even went home slowly. His feet were brushing past the pavement, his eyes were looking at it as if he had some beauty. The motivation he already had not this morning was even less present now. He did not want anything anymore, without him really knowing why. It rarely happened, to not say never. However, thinking that much about the mysterious blond got him to realize how inaccessible he actually was. It was like it was impossible for Even to tell him just one word as if some fear was holding him back. He wanted to, though? He really wanted to. But he was feeling, deep inside, the other boy did not want his company, neither anyone else’s.  
When he was sad, Even would reject everyone, whoever they were. He hated being comforted. He only saw pity in it. Could we not just leave him alone for five seconds? It would pass, he just needed some time, he would calm down and his tears would stop falling.  
However, everything seemed different with him. Even had indeed this feeling the blond would reject him, but he did not want to give up. He wanted the stranger’s good, he wanted him to feel better, somehow. He really wanted it. But he was scared. He had this little apprehension in his core — this little apprehension of being rejected. Even would feel bad if the boy rejected him. Yes; inside this body muffled in a grey sweatshirt lived a sensitive soul. He was afraid of being rejected. He was afraid of not being up to people’s hopes. He was afraid of not being good enough. And our tall blond felt even more that fear since the stranger had come into his life.

Even found it weird to finally be aware of all this only today. Who was that boy to interfere with his life like that? He did not ask anything, anything at all. He just wanted to live an average life. He just wanted to live happily. And that stranger was ruining his plans, little by little, and without even noticing it. Even hated him for that, for being constantly in his head, for overwhelming him. He was not ready to live that kind of things. He had never even wanted to live that kind of things. He just wanted one single thing; to go back to normal life, without the blond’s face printed on his retina.

Even laid in bed during the rest of the afternoon, watching films each one more sad and cheesy than the last. Mikael had called him a dozen times at least, but he never picked up. He did not want to. He did not want anyone to hear his sobs.  
He was not crying because of the films. No, it was just a pretext, a motive for his tears. It actually was just his nerves who could not take it anymore. He was exhausted, totally overwhelmed by the recent events. Nothing bad had happened, though. And Even was mad at himself for crying for such a thing while thousands of people went through a way worse pain than he was. 

When the time to go to work hit the clock, Even felt his heart racing. The beats went one after another, at the same rhythm his movements had when he was changing his clothes so that he was more presentable. He knew he was going to walk in front of the park. He knew he, then, would call out for the boy. He had thought about it the whole afternoon, wondering what he could do. And he had taken his decision; he was going to make the first move and for real this time. He swore to himself he would do it.  
So he went out of his house, walked, walked, walked, saw the park a few feet away, walked, walked, saw the blond, walked once again, opened the rusty gate — creating an awful sound he wished he had not created because the stranger turned his head toward him. Even closed the gate, making once again the noise, and their eyes met. The tall blond was hesitating; would he walk or would he go back? But he remembered the promise he made to himself a little sooner and he walked. Step by step. He felt like the scene was in slow-motion. Then, he sat down next to the blonde-haired boy. No one talked for a few seconds, maybe minutes. But the one’s eyes never left the other’s.

“Even Bech Næsheim.”  
“Isak Valtersen.”

It looks like that Isak is going to stay in his mind for a long time.


	8. Seven - He was stealing his attention.

Isak… Isak… Isak…  
That boy’s face finally had a name.

Once the presentations were done, a dead silent settled itself between the two young men. The smallest stopped crying God-knows how. The tallest stopped breathing as if the stranger — who was not really a stranger anymore — left him speechless.  
After a few another moments, the student embraced the one called Isak. At the time, he felt stupid, so stupid, but it was too late. However, while Even was thinking about it now, laid on his bed incapable of sleeping, he found it was the best initiative he ever took. He was not really the kind of person who made the first move, usually. But, this time, he had made the first move. He had made it! And he was proud of it. Even was even telling himself he should have done that way earlier. He missed a chance to get to know a very nice person.  
But, now, he knew him.  
He did not remember much, though. Not even what they talked about, not even their goodbyes. He only remembered his name, the way he pronounced it, the silence that followed. As if all this had just been a dream, a so beautiful dream that he had trouble remembering it.

Had he slept that night? He had no clue. Yet, when the sun finally rose, Even was in a good mood and jumped out of his bed. Who could be happy to get up early on a Sunday morning? Especially to go to work? If it were an average Sunday, the tall blond would still be slumped under his covers, enjoying the heat underneath. However, that Sunday was not an average Sunday. That Sunday, he would meet again a wonderful boy named Isak. And perhaps he could even spend the afternoon with him, after work?

Those positive thoughts brought Even to the park, half an hour earlier than what was planned. He did not see the boy. Maybe did he not arrive yet? Or maybe was he still sleeping? Where was he even sleeping, for that matter? Even must have asked him the day before, but he could not manage to remember.  
The student decided to wait for him. He sat down on the bench, and he waited patiently. One minute. Five minutes. Ten minutes. Twenty minutes. Twenty-seven minutes. Where was he? Would he even come?  
Even ended up getting up, ready to go.

“Even…?”  
He turned around.  
“Isak!”  
A smile took place on his face.  
The blond named Isak slightly smiled, infected by the tallest’s joy.

“Even, would you stop daydreamin’!? I’ve had enough!”  
Even shook his head, as if he was making his thoughts about the blond with the cap go away. He saw his middle-aged boss staring at him emphatically with a frown.  
“I— Sorry, sir. It won’t happen again.”  
“You’ve got problems, son?” The man asked, worried.  
“There’s that boy…” Even started.  
“Oh, I see,” he sniggered, relaxing his face.  
“You see…?”  
“At your age, it’s normal to have flings. I went through that too, as surprisin’ as it may sound.”  
“I’m not in love!” The young man replied, a little too abruptly for the coffee shop's owner. “Sorry, I… I’m not in love,” he repeated more gently.  
“You’re obviously not. Meanwhile, he steals my employee’s attention and I’d like to get him back till one o’clock. He’ll think ‘bout him later.”

 

A shy smile captured the young man’s lips. He then went back to work, listening accidentally to the fifty-year-old whispering to himself, “Looks like that boy’s gonna stay on his mind for a long time…”


	9. Eight - He was there. He always was.

“Why are ya smilin’ that much? It’s been like… a week that I can feel your joy ten miles away,” Mikael pointed out, walking beside Even on the pavement.

Had it been a week already? A week since they first met? A week since they first introduced themselves?

“But nothing’s happenin’,” the tall blond denied. “Can’t I be happy? It’s been hidden deep inside of me for centuries because of Sonja. Aren’t you glad I’m finally released from her control after all this time?”  
“And may I know who is the lucky one who managed to ‘release you from her control’?” He asked while making his eyebrows dance.  
“No one!” He almost shouted, a big smile on his lips. “I’m an independent man.”  
“I’ve no doubt about that,” the brunet laughed, “but I don’t believe you. So, who’s it? I know ‘em?”  
“Okay, he’s called Isak…” Even eventually admitted, blushing.  
“You’re blushin’!” Mikael laughed at him with a childish voice. “You like him?”  
“Yes, I guess I like him… but only as a friend. We really got to know each other just a little more than a week ago.”  
“No one smiles like you do just for a new friend,” the blond’s friend stated with a wink.  
“Well, I do. You know, he’s sad, that boy. And I somehow manage to make him smile again, even if it’s just for half an hour when I go to the park before work. And that, that makes me happy.”  
“He likes you,” the Metis tease him.  
“No, he doesn’t!” Then, he started running and left, having a behaviour as childish as Mikael, leaving the boy all alone on the pavement.

When he arrived two streets farther, Even’s phone rang against his thigh. As soon as he saw Mikael’s name on the screen, he giggled and picked up.  
“You miss me already?” He joked.  
“To be totally honest with you, not at all. But I really need to study for our Econ exam that’s comin’ soon and we were supposed to do that together, remember?”  
After a few seconds where Even was searching for what he could say, he eventually said; “Change of plan. I’ve got stuff to do.”  
“Such as seducing that much talked about Isak?”  
“Shut it, Mikael.”

He hung up. It annoyed him. We don’t fall in love after a week, for Goodness’ sake! Why were they all thinking he had any feelings for that blond? Could he not just make new friends? It annoyed him. He just did not get it. It reminded him of nursery and primary school. The teachers would always call different genders friends “the two lovers” as if that kind of friendship could not exist, or as if that specific girl was not secretly crushing on that other girl sat in the back of the room. He felt like he was going too far for nothing in the end, and maybe it was true, but it just annoyed him so much. He could be glad it did not bother anyone he appreciated whether he liked girls, boys, both, none — and he did was glad — but it annoyed him.

Even was not even looking at where he was heading to, lost in his thoughts. He let his feet guiding him through the streets. It was obviously not a surprise for the student to see when he looked up in front of him the one and only park where he met Isak. He was there. He always was. Sat down, a little less bent than before, cap backwards. It did not change, it probably never would. Yet, Even told himself maybe it was better this way, that nothing changed, ever. And that he could cheer up Isak, forever. And that that boy could stay on his mind, forever.


	10. Nine - He walked away.

“Hey, Isak.”

Even’s voice made Isak looking at him, slightly smiling. He always smiled like that, but that was enough for Even.

“Hey, Even. What’re you doing here, at this hour?”  
“I was thinking I could come a little earlier today so that we can stay together a little more. Doesn’t that make you a little happy?”  
“Yes, of course, I’m happy,” the young Isak smiled. “I… I’m just waiting for a quite important phone call that should arrive soon enough. So I’m sor—“

Isak could not finish his sentence because his phone started ringing. He mumbled a ‘sorry’ before he stood up abruptly of the mossy bench to move away. Who was it? He said it was important, but what did he mean? Even was hoping this phone call was not important in the meaning of ‘extremely serious’. It would be better if that was his biology partner who called him to tell him the mark they got for their last project. Even did not even know if Isak was studying at some school — it was not really the subject they broached the most.

Even only heard some snippets of the conversation. It did not help me to understand much of the situation but, by observing his friend’s expressions changing minute by minute, he deduced it could not be about a school mark.

If the tall blond had a superpower, that would definitely be reading minds. Not to know if someone was secretly fantasizing about him, but to discover what was happening with Isak. The student never asked him the reason why he was always so sad, he never had enough courage to do so. But he would like to know. It would avoid blunders and quarrels that could follow. Even really did not want to argue with Isak. First of all, because that kid had enough problems. But also because he was precious in the eyes of the oldest, like a being to protect from the world’s cruelty.

He did not know exactly how long that bloody phone call lasted but, when Isak came back, he only said one sentence that broke the student entirely.  
“Even, we should stop hanging out.”  
The tall blond did not understand. No! No, he did not want to, he would not accept! Why did he not want to be his friend anymore!?  
“I don’t want to,” he said with his calmest voice.  
“And what if I tell you it’s better for both of us?” Isak insisted.  
“I would respond I don’t believe you because you make me happier and I know I make you a little happier, too.”  
“Go away, Even.”  
Isak’s appearance sank. Even could swear he was on the verge of tears. He only wanted one thing; to embrace him. And that is what he did. He held him in his arms tightly.  
“No, Isak, I don’t want to,” the tallest whispered.  
“Okay.” Isak broke the hug and stepped back. “In this case, I’m the one leavin’.”

Once he said those words, Isak crossed the rusty gate that grated when he moved it, and he walked away. Even did not try to catch him, that did not even cross his mind. That only would have made things worse and he knew it. Instead, he just let his eyes follow him until he could not see him anymore.  
Then, he stood up and walked away in his turn.

Right now, Even really wished he could read minds.  
Maybe that would have helped to avoid those long moments of torture he spent and would spend thinking about that boy.


	11. Ten - He went home.

“Dear Isak…” Even started.  
No, no. There was not a worse way to start that kind of letter.  
“Hey, Isak!”  
In fact, yes, there did was worse.  
“Hi.”  
Why was he even writing this letter!? What was he going to tell!? Even could not even control his wrist, the characters were inking the paper by themselves. “I’m writing you this letter after weeks thinking about it…” Weeks!? The two blonds did not even know each other fifteen days ago! “I made a decision, a decision that’ll change our lives forever.” What decision!?  
Even’s brain was a mess, his heart was beating on an unusual fast beat that would have killed him if he was not… if he was not dreaming.  
“That’s just a dream…” He whispered to himself, on the verge of tears. “All that is just a dream…”

The blonde-haired boy woke up suddenly. What a weird dream. His breaths were still halting. What happened to him!? He dreamed of writing a letter to Isak… He once read somewhere dreams were the concrete reflection of fears, of desires or conversely of the things we really would not like to live. He was not afraid of pens, was he? He also did not have the deep wish of writing a letter to that boy, and that was not either on his list of things he never wanted to experiment! The idea of the prophetic dream crossed his mind for a second but immediately left. Even did not really believe in such a thing and, anyway, he could not put his finger on what kind of ‘decision that would change their lives forever’ he could take. He did not even know what he wanted to eat for lunch.

When Even checked the time, he saw a five written on his alarm clock. Five o’clock, in the morning. He had to get up in about an hour… After a deep sigh, he managed to get out of his bed, shivering. At least he would not be late.  
The blond made his way toward the kitchen slowly, dragging his feet. He felt like a ball was hooking to his ankle, making him walk two steps backwards when he walked one foot forward. Why did the mornings have to be so hard? He wondered why everyday when he was finding hard to turn the awful noise made by his alarm clock off. He envied the people that could get up easily. He even thought they had some gift — and God knows how much he would love to have this gift. Even was that kind of person who hated mornings more than any other moments of the day, mostly because he was not all there yet and started to think about things that were each one more bizarre than the last. For example, the reason why people would say Earth was a circle while it actually was a sphere. He also hated the morning because he could never remember his dreams. Yet he remembered it very well today. And he just wanted to smash his head on a wall to stop thinking about it one more second. He could not understand why he had such a dream and it gave him a headache. Right now, the student wished he could shut his thoughts because he knew they would keep on going around this episode again and again until he found answers to his questions or until some mysterious person, some mysterious subject managed to distract him.

Even eventually reached his college’s entrance and he thought this day could not be any worse. First, he had that dream last night and, now, here she was. Why did she have to come? Was she able to skip her classes yesterday but not today? And — surprise, surprise! — she was now coming toward the young man, walking fast. The blond looked left and right to look out for any way to avoid what was about to happen. Where the fuck was Mikael? He was never there when we needed him… Quick, a solution! Even’s eyes were opened wide because of his tiredness but also because he was desperate — desperate to find anything that could help him. He needed someone, anyone to strike up a conversation with so that she could go away. Time was like slowing down, the blonde’s movements took a way too slow speed.

“Even.”  
Even’s breathing stopped for what felt like hours when he heard his voice.  
“Sonja.” The boy’s voice had been strangely high, which made the blonde he hoped he would never meet again raise an eyebrow.  
“Don’t you have something to tell me?” She asked innocently.  
“Hum… no, not really.” He hated her so much and wanted her to leave his sight and also his life as fast as possible.  
“You sure about that?”  
“I am.” Could she not just shut up?  
“Certain?”  
“Yes, Sonja. Go away.” He started breathing again as he moved her more or less violently to go into the building.

Well… today was going to be a long day. Now he did not only think about his dream but also about Sonja. Great.

****

The day had been the way Even planned it; long and exhausting. Not only had Sonja killed him with her eyes every time she saw him, making his friend ask him about it, but also had his dream and the sentences he was writing come back to his mind every time he put his pen on a sheet of paper. He had enough, he felt like he was not going to make it out if he did not leave the campus as quickly as possible.  
So he did; in no time, he found himself on the street with the wind making his hair fly. But he did not know what to do. Shall he meet Isak again despite their little disagreement of the day before? Shall he tell him his dream? Shall he just go back home to go to the coffee shop a couple hours later? It would indeed be smarter to do his homework since exams were coming.

So he went home. But that was as if Isak was with him because Even could not take his angelic face off his retina.  
It looks like that boy is going to stay on his mind for a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No answer about Isak's decision from the ninth chapter haha, I'm sorry! You'll find out more about this soon though, so don't worry ;)  
> Thank you all for reading, commenting and leaving Kudos, it means a lot!  
> Hope you enjoy my story :) x


	12. Eleven - He was breaking him.

“Fuck!” Even swore, slapping his head against his wooden desk — which he regretted pretty quickly.

The problem he was facing had nothing to do with his economics. He wished it was that — that would have been way easier for him to deal with it. At least, once the exam was over, he would not hear a word about it and would finally be able to let his mind rest. But, in that case, he could not let his mind rest. He could not manage to. He just could not get rid of Isak like a bloody exam. And he was afraid that boy would not let him be before a while, even though he frankly told him he did not want his friendship. Why him? Why did he choose him as his target while there were seven billion lives in that world? And why did he lure him to eventually reject him? Even hated him. He hated him because he made him like him too much. He hated him because he did not let him live an average life. He hated him so much, he was trying hard to get that into his head.

Even thought about his dream again which gave him an idea. What if he wrote him a letter to tell him how much all that was breaking him? how much he was breaking him?  
His right hand pulled a couple sheets of paper off his printer and his left hand felt his pencil case to find a pen. Barely more than a couple heartbeats later, the ink was already setting up on the paper. Just like in his dream, he was not really aware of the curves he was drawing; he was only following his instinct.

When he raised his wrist, the sheet — that was before entirely white and without a single line — was now darkened because of all the ink that was spread on it. Even hesitated; should he reread the letter? He was afraid to end up changing his mind and to never bring it to Isak. He did not even know if he was going to give it to him in person or if he was going to just leave it somewhere.  
He checked the time; it was sixteen past five. “Right. C’mon, Even, you can do it,” he told himself. He stood up, put on his coat, took his keys and went out of his apartment. It was only after he went down two stairs out of three that he realised he forgot the letter he wrote for Isak. Did he really encourage himself just a few moments ago to forget it in the end? He sighed before he climbed up the stairs and went down again once he had the letter.

Even spent about half an hour walking before he reached the park. Isak was not there. Good. This way, there would be no way for the blond to ignore him. Even though he could just leave the sheet of paper where he found it, and he first needed to notice it. Even shook his head. No. Isak was going to read that bloody letter. He had to. So Even dropped off the sheet of paper on the bench, on his bench, and slipped it through a little hole so that it would not fly away. Then, he left. It was not going to bother his boss if he came to work a little earlier…

Isak arrived in the park ten minutes after Even left. The first thing he noticed was this white that was contrasting with the brown of the bench and the green of the moss. Curiosity captured him; he took the paper and unfolded it.

“Dear Isak,  
I know you didn’t expect to find this paper. Oh, by the way, it’s me, Even. I don’t really know why I’m writing this, honestly… But I needed to tell you things. However, since you don’t wanna see me anymore knowing the disagreement we had the other time, I was thinking writing to you would be… wiser.  
I really want us to become good friends, Isak. It doesn’t matter if it hurts me; I don’t care. You’re an amazing person, I know it. Even though we don’t hang out for a long time, I just know it. And I wanna be your friend. That may sound weird, fake, and I’m aware of it, but I’m being honest. I don’t know who you were talking to on your phone, I don’t know what you’re hiding from me either. But know, Isak, that I’m there for you. If you wanna talk about it, I’m there. If you don’t wanna talk about it, I’m there anyway. I don’t really care if you ‘hurt me’ because of your secret, I just want us to be friends. You think we can do that, Isak? For me? Don’t be scared to hurt me, because you won’t. I know it.  
Meet me tomorrow at six in the afternoon in front of Hartvig Nissens University if you wanna make an effort with me.  
Even.”

Isak had tears in his eyes, without him really knowing why. The fact that he meant to Even made him really glad, maybe a little too much. Yet he was afraid to hurt him because it would end up happening, one day or another, and way sooner than Even could think.  
It looks like that boy is going to stay on his mind for a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went back to school today so I might be a little less irregular, sorry! I'll do my best, though.  
> I really hope my English isn't too bad (sorry if it is). If you wanna correct me, feel free to do so! I'm only 15, I'm not fluent yet :)  
> Thank you all for reading, commenting, leaving Kudos <3  
> xxx


	13. Twelve - He came, he really came.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!  
> Sorry, it took so long! I went back to school, so I've got tons of homework to do and I don't really have time anymore, unfortunately.  
> Anyways, I'm so sorry! I'll do my best to update at least once a week!  
> Thanks for reading, I hope it's not boring :)  
> Enjoy the chapter!  
> xx

The next day, Even went out of his university. At six o’clock, he was in front of the gate, waiting for him, waiting for Isak. He thought all day long, wondering whether he would come or not, whether he even found his letter or not. Even if he did come, what would he say? The tall blond was starting to regret everything.

“Hey, you okay, Even?”  
Even turned around to meet Mikael’s eyes.  
“Yes, yes, everything’s fine.”  
“I feel like you’re really… stand-offish, nowadays,” the brunet sighed.

The blond looked at his shoes. What Mikael said was true; he just grew apart from him. Isak was so much in his mind that he had not even noticed how bad of a best friend he had been. What kind of friend was he? The awful kind, probably.

“I’m so sorry, Mikael…” Even whispered. “I’m so, so sorry.” He really meant it. He could not be more sincere.  
Mikael gave him a little punch on the shoulder. “Don’t worry, I understand,” he reassured him.  
“Really?”  
“Really. That Isak’s invadin’ your life,” he laughed and did weird moves with his arms. Even grinned; he had to admit Mikael was not wrong. “No, honestly, I ain’t mad.”  
“I don’t deserve you,” Even smiled. “I need to stop thinkin’ ‘bout Isak, it’s everything but beneficial, for both of us.”

They laughed cheerfully, without really knowing why. Mikael finally had his best friend back.  
Even was going to open his mouth to apologise one last time but a voice called to him. It was a whisper for the rest of the world yet it was a shout for the blond. When he turned around to face his interlocutor, he still did not know if he was really there or it was just his imagination.  
“Isak…” A smile took place on his lips. He came, he really came.

It was like time stopped. There were just the two of them, in the middle of the words that were crashing against one another. If you walked past those two, you probably could not even tell if they were alive or not. Maybe they were in some parallel universe, or in some kind of trance that kept them away from the reality. But no; they were only lost in the other. They were looking for each other, they were finding each other to eventually lose each other again. Yet they always would find a way to be back together. That only was a cat and mouse game through the blonds’ gazes.

“So, he is the so-called Isak you were talking about!” Mikael’s voice put Even out of the half-sleep he was sharing with Isak.

The poor student did not know what to say, he was mumbling some incomprehensible words and the small blond’s cheeks were starting to get bright red. A “yes” was eventually heard through the sounds that were escaping Even’s mouth, making the tanned boy laugh slightly. Mikael turned his head toward the one who was in the middle of the conversation.  
“Well, Isak, it looks like you’re gonna stay on his mind for a long time.”


	14. Thirteen - Tears were running down his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAA I'M SO SORRY FOR NOT UPLOADING EARLIER  
> I FEEL BAD  
> I JUST DON'T HAVE TIME AND SCHOOL SUCKS????  
> OKAY JUST SORRY  
> oh and i saw thomas brodie-sangster (aka my baby, he helps me in so many different ways!!), dylan o'brien, kaya scodelario and wes ball from 'the maze runner' series last wednesday in paris for 'the death cure' premiere and oh my god best day of my life gUYS  
> i didn't have the chance to have a pic since i arrived pretty late, but i still filmed them! they were a few feet away from me but i saw my b a b y shuck i love him  
> okay imma stop there because i can talk about tbs for hours without stopping and i know how annoying it is  
> okay then  
> enjoy  
> i hope  
> :) x

After saying those words, Mikael left the two blushing boys alone in front of the college. Time was going so slowly that a second felt like an hour for them. Isak knew deep down he started to regret he came. What did he think was going to happen, anyway? He almost confessed to Even the truth about him. What could he think about him except “He’s so weird”, “That guy’s insane” or maybe “He doesn’t deserve my friendship”? His neurons could not digest any more questions or thoughts, his brain was boiling, looking for a way to escape this more-than-awkward situation. He should never have read that note, he should never have listened to it, he should never have come. His eyelids had covered his eyeballs, his eardrums had closed, none of Isak’s senses seemed to work. He felt like he lost his lifebelt and was currently drowning in the wind that was softly blowing, like a rough sea. His heart that was beating against his rib cage was the only thing that reminded him he was still alive. He was in a daze, as if he was somewhere else, in some nightmare.  
All this vanished when a couple arms surrounded his frail body. Isak knew whose arms they were. After all, who would hug a stranger? His hazel eyes went out of their hideout to fix upon some pale neck—Even’s pale neck. Was he really hugging him? Why was he doing… that? Lost, he wrapped his quivering arms around the blond’s back. He was hoping Even did not notice his arms’ little movements; that would make him run away.

“You’re not alone anymore.”  
This one sentence made Isak relax. Tears were rolling down his cheeks, without him really knowing why. Maybe he was just relieved that someone cared about him, that someone was there for him,…that he was not alone anymore.

Isak suddenly felt like he was naked when Even stepped back. He was already missing his body heat. A little smile appeared on his lips.  
“I’m so happy you came, Isak,” the boy smiled, making the blondie’s heart warm.

Even asked Isak to follow him, which he did. Where were they going? The blond had no idea, but he trusted his friend. His friend. He had a friend. Someone that did not run away just by seeing his face. However, Even would eventually discover what he was hiding from him, and he would run away. It was just a matter of time. It was always just a matter of time with someone like Isak…

While they were walking, no one said a word. Even was enjoying Isak’s company—the fact that he was here, next to him, seemed enough. Isak was deep in his thoughts. He still did not know where they were heading to and he was too embarrassed to even ask. He really had a blind trust in that boy he barely knew. It would cause his downfall, their downfall. But Even looked so determined to be chummy with him that Isak did not think he could dissuade him from being so, no matter what reason he would give.

“We’re there!” A smiling Even exclaimed.  
Isak looked up and noticed they were at the park. It made him smile too; it was always here that things happened, with the Even.  
“I thought it’d be quieter if we came here,” he admitted, itching his neck when he saw the blond was not answering anything.  
“Sounds good to me, don’t worry,” Isak slightly laughed. “I… I wanted to tell you something, actually, so that’s even better we’re somewhere where no one can interrupt or hear us…”  
That sentence seemed to surround the boys with an apprehension veil. One of them wondering what could possibly be that thing Isak wanted to tell him, the other one wondering if he really was going to confess that special thing, afraid he might run away then.

Step by step, the two friends reached the bench. We could see through the flats’ windows some people who were discreetly taking a look at the scene. When they were finally sat down on the worn wood, Even turned his head to stare at Isak, who was looking at the ground. It reminded the student of the first time he saw him—he was like that; head turned towards the grass, cap flattening down his blonde hair… It felt like it happened a so long time ago, while it was only just a few weeks ago. Even noticed a tear rolling over the younger’s cheek, then. He hastened to put his hand on his shoulder, just so that he knew he was there, he was not going anywhere, he would not go anywhere. That movement made the blond raise his head. Their eyes met. Tears were running down Isak’s face. It was now or never.  
“I’m gonna die, Even…”  
And, at that moment, Even knew that boy was going to stay on his mind for a long time.


	15. Fourteen - Just him being here was enough.

Even did not say a thing. What could he say, anyway? Instead, he hugged him. He did not try to know why he told him that, neither why he was going to die. He just held him tight, hoping that would make his problems go away. His hands were gently squeezing the blondie’s back, Even could feel each convulsion caused by his sobs.  
He eventually calmed down. Even pulled out of the hug and held Isak by his shoulders, making him look at him. His cheeks that were usually so pale were now bright-red because of his tears. His eyes, bloodshot, were looking for comfort and reassurance through his friend’s. 

“When?” Even’s voice went from nowhere, breaking the silence that settled up.  
“On my birthday… June twenty-first,” Isak whispered.  
“Then, during those five months, we’re gonna live. Both of us. Together.” Those few words seemed to give Isak a pinch of hope. He was going to live. And Even would accompany him to make those few months the best of his entire life. “You know what we’re gonna do, Isak?” Even asked, letting go of the boy to look for something in his bag. Isak shook his head no, rubbing his face, as if erasing any trace of sadness. “You’re gonna write me a list,” he announced, giving him a sheet of paper and a pen, “a list where you tell me everything you wanna do while you’re alive. Just, try not to want any illegal stuff.” Even laughed, making Isak smile.  
“Thank you so much, Even. Try don’t have to do this and yet—“ Isak started, taking the things from Even’s hands.  
“I’m happy to do so, Isak. Honestly. I’m never gonna leave you alone. Never, you hear me? I’ll never leave you alone. I’ll have to be dead to break this promise.”

No one talked for a few seconds. It was not awkward—it was the total opposite, actually. The silence was almost necessary. So that Even could digest what he just heard, and so that Isak could convince himself that someone was finally there for him despite his problem. His ‘problem’. That was a strange word to use. Even did not even try to know why he would die in five months. Five months… This was so short but so long at the same time.

“Why are you doing all this?” Isak ended up asking. “I’m gonna die, Even. This is useless, and it’s gonna give you more harm than good… and you don’t even know what’s wrong with me.”  
“First, there’s nothing wrong with you. Got it? Then, the most important thing is that _you_ live a happy life, at least during those last few months. I’ll be okay, don’t worry about it. Worry about you and what you wanna do. You heard me?”  
“I don’t deserve you, you know it?”  
“Shut up,” Even laughed.  
“No, I’m not kidding, Even! Who the hell am I? Some unfortunate guy who’s gonna die at the age of eighteen because of a bloody heart that’s incapable of workin’ properly.” Here, he said it. It was over, now. And he started crying, again. “I’m tired, Even, why can’t I be like everyone else? Why did it have to be me? I didn’t ask for anything, I didn’t even ask to be born and it had to be me… And there’s no heart for me… and anyway there’s just a small chance that I wake up after the surgery. No matter what happens, I’m just doomed to die.”  
After Isak’s monologue, Even held him tight in his arms. He had nothing to say to reassure, comfort him, because he just did not know what to say to somebody who needed a heart transplant. There was no need to talk, anyway, just him being here was enough. He just had to show Isak that he was there, and that he would not go away.

Isak would not believe him if he told him this, but that boy is going to stay on his mind for a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for not updating more, I'm just stuck between school and homework and life hasn't been really great recently. I'm sorry, I'll try to post more, I promise. I hope you're still enjoying the story :) x


	16. Fifteen - He just smiled.

“The purpose of living is to die. Everyone’s born to eventually die, that’s just the way of things. It happens to everyone at some point. For some people, it’s earlier than for others. It’s not fair, it really isn’t, but that’s the way it is. We don’t get to decide. Maybe someday, I’ll wake up and I won’t be able to breathe, somehow; my time will have come. We don’t get to decide our fate. Everything’s already written, there’s no way to change what’s supposed to happen to us. Life is like a string. We must have balance to stay still. And, at some point, the string ends. There’s no way for us to know it, though. It’s dark around here. Can’t even see our feet. That’s why there are impediments. So, when the string’s about to end, we can’t see it either. It just…ends. We just fall in that endless black abyss. It doesn’t hurt, we don’t feel a thing, as if we were floating. Everyone makes a big deal of death but, actually, it’s just falling asleep to never wake up again, ever. You can suffer while dying, but once you’re dead, you don’t feel a thing. Your string just ended. And there’s nothing you can do about it. However, you can do something before it happens. All along the string of life, you can do whatever you wish, you’re free to do anything you want. But, when your string ends, you don’t have that ability anymore because you don’t even have a floor to put down your feet anymore. That’s why we are going to realize your biggest dreams together, Isak. I’ll bring you to the other side of Earth if you want me to. I’ll bring you wherever you want and whenever you want. We’ll tell the obstacles to fuck off so that your string is as stable as possible. I promise.”

Even whispered every word against Isak’s shoulder, his head laid down on it. He did not really know why he told him all this, his speech probably did not even make any sense. He just said the stuff that went through his mind so that Isak did not think he was gone, he guessed.

He felt little drips of water running down his neck. The blondie who took refuge in his arms was crying. Even felt like his heart was missing a beat every time a tear fell on his pale skin. He hated seeing Isak that sad. The worst thing was that he was sad all the time, even if he smiled or acted as if everything was fine in the world.

How long did they stay in each other’s arms? Ten minutes? Half an hour? Two hours? The seconds had passed without neither Even nor Isak trying to leave. They could stay there during days and days, if they were able to.  
But they weren’t.  
They realized it when the lights we could see through the windows started to switch off. The people who lived in the flats next to the park were getting ready to go to bed.

“What time’s it?” Isak asked, with a husky voice because of his cryings.  
The sun did not help the two boys to keep the notions of time. During the beginning of February, the sun was going down very early in Norway. When Even left his university a few hours ago, this piece of Earth was already lighted only by the moon and some street lamps.  
Even took out his phone and looked at the time.  
“Almost nine,” he answered in a low voice, as if scared someone could hear him.  
“I’m gonna go home,” the shortest boy said. “My mother has to believe something bad happened.”  
Even just nodded. He was dying to ask him about his father, but he managed not to. There were enough revelations for tonight.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” The tallest asked, looking at Isak with eyes full of apprehension.  
“Course. I’ll be there, I’m not going anywhere else.”

The student smiled in a way he did not know he would someday; he smiled a true smile.

Both of them left the parc side to side without saying a single word until they had to split up to head home. They said their goodbyes. They hugged, promising they would meet again the next day. Then, they turned over and walked in different directions.  
Yet, a voice called for Even, making him look at the blond.  
“Even…?”  
“Yes, Isak?”  
“Thank you.”  
He just smiled.  
And he left.

It looks like that boy is going to stay on his mind for a long time.


End file.
